I was talking with a friend today and I kind of let slip that I still thought of someone who hasn’t been in my life for years now and was barely in it to begin with. I started feeling embarrassed, sad, and pathetic because I’ve thought about this person every single day even though I know they don’t think about me. I don’t feel normal either. I constantly feel like something is wrong with me and it makes me scared to form new relationships because what if I have this same reaction each time they end? I’m not pining for them but I just cannot seem to forget about them or accept the fact I’ll most likely never see them again. I don’t have any answers but it’s comforting to know others feel the same way. This was beautifully written 🫶🏻
Thank you so much. I wrote this with a few people in mind, but honestly, I wrote it about someone who hadn't been in my life for eight months. They may have read it, but they most likely have not. Either way, I still dream and think of them regularly. I feel pathetic about it at times, but oh well. Thank you for reading and commenting, Mary ❤️
This brought tears to my eyes. It's a feeling i have tried to articulate especially in regards to my past friendship-with-romantic-potential situation. I still see him in my dreams from time to time and I still think about him. After years of berating myself for these lingering feelings, I've come to a place of acceptance - that maybe he's just part of the marrow in my bones that I'll carry with me forever. Thank you for sharing this.
‘My heart is a graveyard.’ This was beautifully written and perfectly describes my ‘condition.’ I wrote a month or so back, ‘With your goodbye I feel the weight of all the goodbyes I have ever felt before.’ And you’ve perfectly described the feeling. To learning to let go and learning to carry out final funerals for those who have left our life
So true Christabel. You have a beautiful name btw. I think it important to have funerals for everyone who leaves, dead or alive. Thank you for reading 🩷
Thank you!! and also thank YOU for writing this beautiful piece. I wrote similar soul wretching sentiments in a post ‘what if the grief is eternal?’ if you’re interested, also happy to see another law student- writer pipeline. <3
Your vulnerability is absolutely noble and very well written. As someone who finds it difficult to let go of people from years past, this really struck a note for me.
Ah yes. I always say that every person who leaves my life, leaves a little scar in my heart. To me, letting go means occasionally thinking about this person, and feeling all the feelings you need to feel. It's like grieving someone who died, because the character they played in your life story essentially died. What helped me to let go more, was to become the best possible version of myself. It's much easier to let go of the grief that way, because you are building something with the experience you gained because you met these people. Stopping my monologue now haha 🙏
Dear Angel, I commented before about how beautifully written this piece is, the ghosts that inhabit this text and how you articulate the feelings, was incredibly moving for a lot of us!
Thank you so much, Camille. I read it and it was so beautiful and so true. I'm going to save it so that I can go back to it whenever I need to be reminded of your words and wisdom. I'll make sure to rest my heart.
wow this is genuinely a perfect read i loooooovvveeeee how you can describe this in such detail. fantastic just so stunningly good
Thank you! 🩷🩷🩷
I was talking with a friend today and I kind of let slip that I still thought of someone who hasn’t been in my life for years now and was barely in it to begin with. I started feeling embarrassed, sad, and pathetic because I’ve thought about this person every single day even though I know they don’t think about me. I don’t feel normal either. I constantly feel like something is wrong with me and it makes me scared to form new relationships because what if I have this same reaction each time they end? I’m not pining for them but I just cannot seem to forget about them or accept the fact I’ll most likely never see them again. I don’t have any answers but it’s comforting to know others feel the same way. This was beautifully written 🫶🏻
Thank you so much. I wrote this with a few people in mind, but honestly, I wrote it about someone who hadn't been in my life for eight months. They may have read it, but they most likely have not. Either way, I still dream and think of them regularly. I feel pathetic about it at times, but oh well. Thank you for reading and commenting, Mary ❤️
There is a rhythm to your writing and I like it.
Thank you so much! 🩷
This brought tears to my eyes. It's a feeling i have tried to articulate especially in regards to my past friendship-with-romantic-potential situation. I still see him in my dreams from time to time and I still think about him. After years of berating myself for these lingering feelings, I've come to a place of acceptance - that maybe he's just part of the marrow in my bones that I'll carry with me forever. Thank you for sharing this.
“Part of the marrow in my bones” oh that’s so beautiful
‘My heart is a graveyard.’ This was beautifully written and perfectly describes my ‘condition.’ I wrote a month or so back, ‘With your goodbye I feel the weight of all the goodbyes I have ever felt before.’ And you’ve perfectly described the feeling. To learning to let go and learning to carry out final funerals for those who have left our life
So true Christabel. You have a beautiful name btw. I think it important to have funerals for everyone who leaves, dead or alive. Thank you for reading 🩷
Thank you!! and also thank YOU for writing this beautiful piece. I wrote similar soul wretching sentiments in a post ‘what if the grief is eternal?’ if you’re interested, also happy to see another law student- writer pipeline. <3
Your vulnerability is absolutely noble and very well written. As someone who finds it difficult to let go of people from years past, this really struck a note for me.
I’m glad you enjoyed reading, Jordan 🩷
Ah yes. I always say that every person who leaves my life, leaves a little scar in my heart. To me, letting go means occasionally thinking about this person, and feeling all the feelings you need to feel. It's like grieving someone who died, because the character they played in your life story essentially died. What helped me to let go more, was to become the best possible version of myself. It's much easier to let go of the grief that way, because you are building something with the experience you gained because you met these people. Stopping my monologue now haha 🙏
Thank you so much for reading this, Maggie 🩷
My pleasure
So touching, and so identifiable. Thank you!
Thank YOU for reading 🩷
Beautifully written.
Thank you so much! ☺️
Angel, the feelings evoked from your writing, wow!
Thank you, thank you so much for reading! 🩷
Thank you for writing too :)
Hi Angel - so nice to feel heard by reading your words! I resonate with them a lot. Thank you for sharing and welcome to substack 🥰
Thank you so much for being here, Barley <3
Forget what is past and press on forward forgetting what is left behind- God. I hope you get out of your hell here. It is possible!
Very vulnerable. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you for reading <3
This is so beautifully written.
Thank you, thank you!
You are welcome!
Dear Angel, I commented before about how beautifully written this piece is, the ghosts that inhabit this text and how you articulate the feelings, was incredibly moving for a lot of us!
I came back to share this thing I wrote called "How to rest the heart", hoping it might benefit you in some ways: https://dawnierschronicles.substack.com/p/how-to-rest-the-heart
Sending you love and heart rest ;)
Thank you so much, Camille. I read it and it was so beautiful and so true. I'm going to save it so that I can go back to it whenever I need to be reminded of your words and wisdom. I'll make sure to rest my heart.
🥀
Those of us who feel deeply have our own graveyards.
You're not the only one
It's a nice reminder I'm not alone. Thank you for reading, James.